Day 107

BREAKING NEWS: UNICORNS ARE REAL

... at least, according to North Korea's state-run news agency.

Welcome to Korean News, a perfectly legitimate news source run entirely by the North Korean government.  According to their website, "the Korean Central News Agency is the state-run agency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.  It speaks for the Workers' Party of Korea and the DPRK government.  It was founded on December 5, 1946.  It is located in the capital city of Pyongyang.  It has branches in provincial seats and in some foreign countries.  News is transmitted to other countries in English, Russian, and Spanish.  The KCNA is in charge of uniform delivery of news and other informations to mass media of the country, including newspapers and radios.  It develops the friendly and cooperative relations with foreign news agencies."

For those not familiar with the peninsula, DPRK stands for "Democratic People's Republic of Korea," which is North Korea.  If you're thinking that North Korea is neither democratic nor a republic, then you are not alone.  South Korea is formally known as "the Republic of Korea."

TL;DR version:    (<--for the not-so-internet-savvy, that's short for "too long; didn't read")
Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) = NORTH Korea
Republic of Korea (ROK) = SOUTH Korea

Now that we've cleared that up, let's get onto this unicorn business.  If you're in America you can visit the Korean News website by clicking here,  but those in South Korea will find that this link is blocked, so I've included the full article here.  The South Korean government actively blocks any websites associated with North Korea or pornography, which are apparently both bad for South Korean morale. (In fact, my blog may soon be censored due to just mentioning North Korea.  We'll see!)

Again, the TL;DR version:

- King Tongmyong rode a unicorn around 270B.C.
- several hundred years later, the unicorn's lair was discovered
- the discovery was marked with a large rock that reads "Unicorn Lair"
- the Unicorn Lair has just been rediscovered

A photograph of King Tongmyong's tomb.  This photo was taken by and belongs to Rita Willaert.

So why does this matter?  Well, mostly because North Korea is crazy and creates good laughs for the rest of us.  This is the same news source that claimed that Kim Jong-Il invented the hamburger, made 11 holes in one during his very first game of golf, did not defecate, and could change the weather with his moods.  So, you know, take the unicorn discovery with a grain of salt.

Wait, wait, which one was Kim Jong-Il?  I know, it's hard to remember.  The first post-Korean War leader was his father, the "Eternal President" Kim Il-Sung.  His son was Kim Jong-Il, the previous and recently deceased 'Dear Leader' of North Korea.  Both developed a cult of personality, which is defined by Wikipedia as "when an individual uses mass media, propaganda, or other methods, to create an idealized, heroic, and, at times god-like public image, often through unquestioning flattery and praise."  After Kim Jong-Il died, his son Kim Jong-un became the new leader.

TL;DR:  Kim Il-Sung (long dead) --> Kim Jong-Il (recently dead) --> Kim Jong-Un (current)

Back to the article.  The last line, "The discovery of the unicorn lair... proves that Pyongyang was a capital city of Ancient Korea," is actually a dig at South Korea.  Pyongyang is the current capital of North Korea, and 'proving' it (no matter how dubiously) to be an ancient capital as well lends some credibility to their version of history.  Does it matter?  Not really.  But it makes North Korea feel better.

The real question here is, Do you believe?


Until next time,

- Ashton