Day 371

MORE PLASTIC SURGERY

YES, IT GETS SCARIER

I recently learned about a 'new' type of plastic surgery in Korea called the "smile lipt."  The term 'lipt' is apparently a combination of the words 'lift' and 'lip.'  I know, it's bad.  But hey, when you 'invent' a new type of plastic surgery, you get to name it, I guess.

I've talked about plastic surgery in a previous post, but it's such an interesting topic that I felt compelled to do a little more research.  Imagine trying to explain the concept of plastic surgery to aliens or an isolated tribe in the Amazon.  "Well, when people have a body part they don't think is good-looking enough, they can have it surgically altered.  Usually the body part works perfectly fine, it just isn't pretty.  The surgery is expensive and carries risks like permanent disfiguration, tissue death, and even death!"  They'd probably think humans were crazy.

Now I'm not hating on plastic surgery here.  If somebody has a body part they don't like or that makes them unhappy, and they believe that altering that body part will make them happier, then I say go for it.  If I thought that plastic surgery would make me happier--and if I could afford it--I'd certainly consider getting it done.  Fortunately I'm pretty happy with all my pieces, and I feel very lucky about that.

I've learned a lot about plastic surgery since I came to Korea, and I think it's incredible how we can surgically alter the human body.  Maybe most people already know about these procedures, but I feel like I'm always hearing about new and fascinating surgeries.  There are surgeries to change your nipples, to get skinnier calves and thighs, and even to change the length of your toes.  Amazing!

That said, I think plastic surgeons are waaaay overaggressive.  I've never been to a plastic surgeon myself, though I know several people who have had elective plastic surgeries, as well as medically-necessitated operations.  I've heard stories of patients going in for a consultation on one body part and being told that they 'needed' a bunch of other procedures.  You don't even have to go into the surgeon's shop to get your daily dose of body hate.  There are ads in newspapers, magazines, and I've even seen them in that ridiculous Skymall catalog.

Here in Korea, there are plastic surgery ads everywhere--for example, the subway stations have posters and video ads for a number of plastic surgeons and clinics, and more than seven million people use the Seoul subway system every day.  And that's just the subway.

Which brings us back to the 'smile lipt.'  A popular Korean plastic surgery firm called AONE, pronounced "A-one," has released a video about the surgery and has even translated it into English so that the entire world can feel bad about their smiles!

If you've got twelve minutes to kill and/or want an exercise in self-loathing, watch the video yourself:

If you're busy or (like me) are frightened by the way the narrator keeps repeating "MOUTH CORNERS" then let me sum it up for you.  It starts out with a montage of people smiling for cameras--most of these people are white for some reason.  The narrator explains that your mouth is the most important part of making an impression.  If you have a nice smile, then people like you.  If you have sagging lip corners though, you are an evil and hideous creature and no one will ever love you.  (If you think I'm exaggerating here, let me assure that while the narrator may not use those exact words, that's definitely what she is saying.)

She then goes on to point out all the possible flaws your smile can have.  This list includes sagging lip corners due to age, a too-small mouth, asymmetry of the lips or facial muscles, and showing too much gum in the smile.  

So what is the solution?  "Smile lipt," of course!  As the narrator explains, the surgical procedure basically consists of cutting out some of the muscles that pull your lip corners down, which makes your upper muscles comparatively stronger.  They seem to usually make the mouth wider too, which looks a bit strange because the lips end before the mouth does.

Let's see some photos from AONE's facebook page!  They have an entire album dedicated to before-and-after photos of their 'smile lipt' patients.  Many of the photos have heart-crushing descriptions.  Almost all of them will remind you of the Joker. 

Her smile at the bottom is kinda scary, right?
They described this as "Incredibly beautiful result of Smile Lipt!"

Here's a 50-year-old woman.  

It's not just for the ladies!  According to the photo's description:  "Recently, even men have heightened interest in mouth corner lift.  However, for men it's better not to raise the mouth corners higher than women.  It’s because they could look like a ‘fopling.’"  I have no idea what a 'fopling' is.

Well I suppose he does look a bit happier?

Another "beautiful smile."

This reminds me of the sharp part on the dental floss container that cuts the floss.

Here we can see the dreaded pre-surgery gummy smile:

And another:

Apparently this surgery (like all plastic surgery) is not without its risks of bad results.  Here's an unfortunate photo of a very unlucky young woman:

This photo appears to have started on Reddit and is making the rounds on the net.

As you can see, her lip corners are now curling upward and back toward her nose.  I hope this is fixable because that looks horrible.

American doctors don't seem to think this 'new invention' is all that new, according to an article by ABC News.  According to Dr. Barry Epply of Indiana,  “The Smile Lipt procedure mentioned is just the traditional corner of the mouth lift done to give patients a permanent smile or mouth curls.  By American standards the Asian mouth curl result would be considered unnatural and exactly the 'complication' from a corner of the mouth lift that we would want to avoid.”

The surgery apparently costs around $2000.  What a low, low price to look like the Joker!

Cheers,

Ashton

P.S.:  If you ever feel less than amazing about your looks, I have a fool-proof way to feel gorgeous.  Do an image search for various ocean creatures.  Try humphead parrotfish, elephant seals, or actually just look for ugliest sea creatures.  Being a marine biology student has its perks when it comes to self-esteem!

Day 335

KOREAN WEDDINGS

A few weeks ago a coworker of mine got married, and I was lucky enough to be invited to the wedding.  Despite three of my closest friends getting married in the past two years, I haven't been to an American wedding since I was little.  (Sorry, guys!  I just love to travel!)  What I know about American weddings is that they're generally long, expensive for everyone involved, and it's about making the parents happy, not the bride and groom.

Korean weddings, on the other hand, can be summed up in three words: shiny and efficient.

Not that I'm complaining!  The entire ceremony was about 15 minutes long, followed by another 15 minutes of photo-taking.  I missed my train due to a stupid subway error--I've been here for 11 months and I'm still confusing Yongsan with Yongmun, rookie mistake--and ended up running the entire way from the subway station to the wedding hall.  Good thing I did, or I might have missed the whole ceremony!

Blurry, but sparkly and the lighting is good.  Also shows how reflective the catwalk/aisle is.

I'm not sure how these weddings normally go, but my coworker asked our boss (the not-Asian guy on the stage) to deliver the wedding speech.  It was beautiful and heartfelt, and I understood the whole thing because spoke in English.  His Korean wife translated for the rest of the wedding party.

While she translated, I was paying attention to the wedding hall.  The wedding halls in Korea are specially-designed large soundproof rooms that run on a very tight schedule.  The rooms are very sparkly and shiny.  This particular room is on the 18th floor of a large building.  The flowers are all fake, which I was happy about because real ones make me sneezy.  The 'aisle' is actually a raised white catwalk.  Most brides rent their dresses from the wedding venue.

Look how shiny everything is!

I may have been young when I went to those American weddings, but I remember a few things.  People were silent during the ceremony.  They were very dressed up.  People cried.

At this wedding, most of the guests were talking during the speech.  It didn't seem particularly rude or unusual.  People came and left during the ceremony as well, coming and going to the 'reception,' which is basically a large buffet.  Most people weren't particularly dressed up.  Nobody seemed especially emotional except the bride, who was crying adorably through most of the ceremony.  (But don't worry, the wedding hall plans for this--they've got a special attendant whose job is to wipe the bride's face dry without mussing her makeup!  Seriously, the wedding hall takes care of everything.)

I read in a book that it was bad luck for a Korean bride to smile during her wedding.  But that book had a lot of other weird, outdated, and straight-up wrong information, so who knows?

After the speech, the bride and groom bow to both sets of parents, who are sitting on opposite sides of the stage in traditional Korean dress (for the moms) and suits (for the dads).

About to bow.

The bride stays standing, but the groom gets on the floor and bows.  This is also how Koreans bow to the dead, I believe.   If you look on the left side of the photo, you'll also see the parents bowing back.

Bowing.

Can't find the groom?  Let me help you.

There he is!  See his hair?

The bride and groom say "I do" and kiss...

Smoochie smoochie.

...and then things get a little weird for a few minutes.  Karaoke is really popular in Korea, so when two random people got on stage and started singing a love duet, I figured they were friends of the groom.  They seemed like normal people, a bit underdressed to be at a wedding, but excellent singers.  I learned later that they were actually employees of the wedding hall, strangers to the bride and groom, whose job was to sing such a love duet to newlywed couples.  They sang one song and left.

There are some cultural differences that I will never understand.

With the strange love-duet over, the bride and groom walked together down the aisle/catwalk as trumpets showered them with confetti.

A very handsome couple.

Sadly, I missed the confetti moment.

No really, they used trumpets.  Check out the ladies on the left.

With the Kodak moment captured forever, the bride and groom hustle back up to the stage for copious photographs.

Now you can see all the confetti stuff.  The staff began cleaning it up immediately, they were clearly not wasting time.

Just like at an American wedding, lots of photographs were taken.  I think photographs are extremely important--after all, memories may fade, but photos are forever.

The bride and groom with their parents.  I think hanboks are gorgeous.

I'm not 100% sure how the bouquet-throwing thing works in America, but I was always under the impression that all the women try to catch it and the one gets the bouquet is supposed to get married next.  Here the tossing of the bouquet is just a photo opportunity.  The bride's friend (just one) stands behind her, and the bride tosses the flowers back.  This is repeated as many times as necessary to get the perfect bouquet-tossing shot.

Big family photo!  Love the hanboks!

After the ceremony and photos are done--which, like I said, took about 30 minutes total, is that efficient or what?--I went down to the reception/buffet with a few other coworkers.  There are several wedding rooms in the building, and all of them go to the same buffet.  Unfortunately I had eaten before coming--a horrible bulgogi burger, why do I make such bad choices when it comes to bulgogi?--but I did get my fair share of 'cake.'  There wasn't a wedding cake, per se, but there was an assortment of Korean sweets.  Here is a photo of my 'sampler plate,' in which I tried everything on the dessert table:

Oh yessss watermelon.  

Starting at the top and moving clockwise, I'll try to describe the sweets.

1) Green-orange thing: a rice cake with sesame seeds.  Not sweet.  Sadface.
2) Yellow muffin thing: it had a wee tiny drop of cream cheese inside.  Dry.
3) Creamy delicious thing: no idea, possibly coconut?  Delicious, I ate like 10 of these.
4) Watermelon, delicious.  Seedless watermelon is apparently not available in this country though?
5) Ham-and-cheese sandwich.  This was a mistake.  No idea why it was on the dessert table, but once you grab something you can't just put it back.
6) Pink macaron?  Not sure what it's called, but delicious.  Ate several, in different colors!
7) Pink cupcake-thing with a cherry: again, no clue, but delicious.  There were a few left on the plate and one woman took them all, and an involuntary noise of sadness popped out of my mouth.  The woman noticed and gave me one!  Thank you, strange stomach noises!
8) Taco-looking thing: thought it would be chocolate.  It was actually meh-flavor with a filling of meh.
9) Tan-colored ball: this was a rice cake.  It was not sweet.  I cannot understand how this is considered a dessert.  The tan stuff is a powder of some kind, it tastes healthy.  Yick.
10) Yellow cake roll thing: yum!  Moist and flavorful, unlike most Korean baked goods.  I ate a lot of this.
11) Yellow ball: when will I learn that 'dessert' rice cakes are awful?  When?  Seriously, it's been 11 months and I still haven't learned?

I also ate a lot of shrimp.  Yummmy shrimp.  They don't devein the shrimpies in Korea, which is a bit disconcerting for someone not used to eating poop.  I feel like a snobby cretin if I devein them, and I feel like a poop-eating cretin if I don't.

And now for a gratuitous picture of a little old lady in a hanbok, just because she looks awesome:

I'm so jealous.  I don't have any cool culture or heritage with sweet clothes.

There's one more wedding tradition that's worth mentioning: the hahm.  I think this is the best pre-wedding tradition I've ever heard of.

Here's how the hahm works: the groom's family sends a box full of gifts to the bride's family.  How do they send it?  They get the groom's friends drunk and make them take the box.  They then 'negotiate' with the bride and her friends, who tease the groom's friends from the balcony and eventually give them money in exchange for the gift.  There's apparently much singing, yelling, and drunken revelry involved.  Also, squid masks.

Now, when my coworker first told me about the hahm tradition of squid masks, this is what I imagined:

Cute!
From google.

Or...

Also cute!
From google.

Or maybe...

That is adorable.
From piikeastreet.com.

I was so very wrong.  Here's what a 'squid mask' really is:

Ewwww.
From seoulsisters.com.

It's a dried up squid.  A real dehydrated sea creature.  It's considered a food, although it smells kinda bad.

Seriously, ewwwww.  Poor squiddie.
Also from seoulsisters.com.

The hahm seems like a fun tradition, although apparently not many people do it anymore.  Now that many people live in high-rise apartments, it's harder to practice.  After all, you can't really negotiate from the 22nd story of your apartment building with drunk people on the ground.  That'd certainly be noisy.

But Korean weddings aren't all fun and games.  They're also insanely expensive.  It's gotten so bad that the government has stepped in and started to introduce laws limiting certain financial aspects of weddings.  According to some sources, the cost of the average Korean wedding is nearing $175,000 (that's not a typo), although this figure apparently also covers the cost of an apartment and all the furnishings and appliances, as well as the honeymoon.  So maybe it's not that crazy?  I don't know.  When I get married (someday, many years from now) expect a backyard barbecue affair.

Going to a Korean wedding was an awesome experience, and I'm so thankful that I was invited.  I've now been to a Korean wedding, funeral, and baby shower, so I think I've hit all three big life events! One day I'll write about the funeral, because it was very different from a Western funeral, but today is not that day.  Until next time!

Cheers,
Ashton

Day 272

MARKET DAY

Just a few steps away from Namchuncheon Station is what foreigners call the 2-7 Market.  The market gets its name from its operating schedule; it's open on days that end in 2 or 7, meaning that it's open once every five days.  Yesterday was the 17th, and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and cheap produce.  (The market is also closer to my apartment than the grocery store is, so no excuses.)

So, what does the 2-7 Market have to offer?

Animals!  For the first time, I saw live animals for sale at the market.  Kittens, puppies, chicks, and ducklings.  So cute!

Awwww.

Double awwwww!

You can buy clothes!  The textile industry helped launch South Korea into economic prosperity, and it's still a very popular industry today.  Cheap clothes, socks, scarves, etc. are available just about everywhere in Korea.  There is high-end stuff too, of course, but for people like me (that it, uber-cheap people) it's a shopping haven.  The only problem is that absolutely none of the Korean clothes fit me.  Korean clothes for women are made to create hips, and I've already got hips, so I end up looking like a bloated whale in anything I try on.

Jackets and pants for cheap!  Koreans, especially middle-aged and older Koreans, love to wear hiking gear.  All the time.

There's a big market for used clothing.  At least, I'm pretty sure all this stuff is pre-loved.  Either that, or these ajummas (old Korean women) are skilled at picking completely random stuff to sell.

The sign "5000" means "5000 won," which is about five dollars.

Koreans also love hats, to keep the sun off their faces.  Being tan is basically a sin here.  Many people wear long sleeves, pants, reflective visors, and scarves up to their eyes.  It's like being in a country full of bank robbers.

You can also buy freshly-fried snacks like donuts, mandu (Korean-style dumplings), hotteok (a cinnamon-sugar filled pancake), and assorted other goodies.

I'm pretty sure these are mandu.

Hotteok!  I love hotteok.  They're sweet and cinnamony and hot!

I don't even know what this is.  I try not to eat deep-fried food (except for donuts, of course).

I don't know what's in these smoothies but it looks pretty toxic.

Cooked silkworm larvae, "bondaegi," is popular in Korea, but I was happy that the bondaegi lady wasn't around today because the smell makes me nauseous.  I did see cooked snails though!

Thankfully, much less smelly than bondaegi.

You can also buy acorn jelly and tofu.  Many elderly Koreans support themselves by collecting the naturally-growing produce and selling it.  All the mushrooms, acorn jelly, ginko, and many of the herbs and greens are collected from the forest or just along the roads.  It's very common to see older men and women searching for mushrooms while hiking, and I usually see women snipping greens from the side of the road while I'm running.  Many Koreans also have small farms, and sell the produce at markets or in subway stations.

The brown stuff is acorn jelly.  The white stuff is tofu, but they call it "dubu" here.  "Doo-boo."

A woman with her hand-picked greens.

Lots of salad stuff!

That is an awful lot of garlic.  In the front we've got tubers of some kind (ginger?) and hazelnuts are on the left.

More tubers.

There's fresh seafood!  You can buy a variety of fish, shrimp, squid, and octopus at the market.

Fresh fish on the sides, fresh squid in the middle.  It's all on ice.

Dried fish is really popular here too.

I'm not a big fan of dried fish.  Or fish in general.

Dried tiny fish!  These are used more for seasoning than snacks.

You can get big sheets of dried seaweed.  I think these big thick ones are for soup, but you can also buy the super-thin ones that Koreans use for kimbap.  Kimbap looks a lot like sushi, but they're actually pretty different.  Kimbap uses regular dried seaweed, plain rice, and often contains pickled radish.  Sushi uses roasted dried seaweed, rice seasoned with vinegar and sugar, and usually contains raw fish and veggies.  I really hate kimbap, it tastes fishy.  It's super cheap though, and I wish I liked it because I could have a lot cheaper meals!

Seaweed!

A closer look.

There's also spicy raw crab, called "ganjang gejang" in Korean.  "Ganjang" means "soy sauce" and "ge" means crab.  There's also a spicy version ("mae-oon gejang") and a seasoned version ("yang nyeom gejang").  I haven't personally tried it yet, but it all looks delicious and very messy.  I'll try it soon!

Lots of varieties of crab!

This is the spicy version.  The water bottle is full of ice, to keep the crabs cool in the hot weather.

This is the soy sauce version.

This is a version with lots of itty-bitty baby crabs.  Yum!

This vendor also sold a variety of kimchis.  Kimchi is basically any fermented vegetable.  Most varieties are spicy, but some are not.  The most well-known kind is made from cabbage, or "baechu" in Korean.

Lots of kimchi.  LOTS.  Koreans love this stuff.  (And so do many foreigners!)

Some different varieties of kimchi.  You could live here for years and never taste every kind!

There's also many varieties of grains and beans available.  Rice is really popular here, but it's not the only grain!  They're sold in bags out of large buckets.

Beans and grains!

More grain buckets!

A closer view of the grain.  Not sure what the bottom left bucket is full of.

You can buy plants and grow everything yourself, too.

Flowers, cacti, and veggies.  Get 'em all here!

You can buy wood too.  I think the wood is used to impart flavor in certain recipes, but honestly, I don't know.

Wood, wood, wood.

Even more wood.

Oh, right, there's also fruits and veggies.  Nothing too exotic, I'm afraid.  For veggies, they usually sell onions, zucchini, green squash, bell peppers, chili peppers, broccoli (but never cauliflower), and lettuce/greens.  For fruits, you can find apples, grapes, strawberries, small yellow melons (not sure what these are yet, must investigate), bananas (very expensive, like buck each), watermelons (SO EXPENSIVE HERE, I paid 10 bucks for one and thought that was an amazing deal, I've seen them for up to $25) and sometimes pineapples and Korean pears (which are a lot bigger and tastier than Western pears).  If you want exotic fruits (like coconuts, avocados, mangos, and pineapples) it's a safer bet to go to the grocery store or foreign food market.

Peppers,  Everybody loves peppers here, they're super cheap.

There's enormous bags of dried red chili peppers.  These are used to make gochujang,
a popular paste made from fermented peppers.

I didn't actually take any photos of the fruits, but here's some veggies.

That brown thing?  I have no idea what it is.

This is a repeat photo, but you can see a fruit seller in the background.  See how all the fruit is in bowls?

You can also buy a variety of cheap kitchen items from China.

Seriously, everything you need to fill a kitchen.

There's even live entertainment!

These ladies were singing beautifully.  There were also some guys singing later.
I think they were singing traditional Korean folk music.

That about sums up the market experience!  Thankfully I don't need much Korean to get what I want.  Most of the items have signs with prices, and if not, I can just point and ask "Eol-mayo?"  Easy-peasy.

There was just one item that I wanted that I couldn't find at the 2-7 Market: cilantro.  I've been craving some pico de gallo, and you can't make it without cilantro!  Fortunately, there's an itty-bitty foreign food mart in Chuncheon that has it: World Mart!

The Korean on the sign says "World Mart."

This is a tiny, tiny shop really close to M Department Store in Myeongdong.  (Chuncheon Myeongdong, not the big one in Seoul.)  To find it, just follow the delicious scent of curry.

World Mart is at the intersection between M Department Store and the big Myeongdong Indoor Market.

World Mart doesn't have a great selection.  It's got cilantro, lemons, and a ton of curry stuff.  It's mostly Indian and Thai items.  I found an amazing dried-sweetened-coconut snack there once, but it wasn't there last time I went.

That sums up the Chuncheon market experience!  It's crowded, hot, and reeks of fish, but it's also a good place to practice speaking Korean.  The vendors are generally pretty helpful if they're not busy.  Now that it's warm, the market should be around every five days!  More fresh fruit and veggies for me!  :)

Cheers,
Ashton