I'm safely back in Michigan now, and while the snow is mostly gone, it's still a lot colder than I would like! I've been busy with all the usual return stuff, doctor appointments and license plate renewals and other boring things like that. And now that I've been back in the States for a week, I feel like it's time for a bit of reflection. So let's talk about...
STEREOTYPES OF THE DUTCH AND AMERICANS
Living in foreign countries is a real eye-opener when it comes to stereotypes. America is a big place and each state is different, but there are certain qualities that almost all Americans share. Holland is not a very big place, but there are again certain qualities that almost every Dutch person possesses. I did a few similar pieces about stereotypes while living in Korea, and I thought it'd be interesting to try again with the Dutch.
Keep in mind, of course, that these 'stereotypes' (if we can really call them that) are my observations only, and not true for every single Dutch or American. These are generalizations, and I am writing them just to share my own views. This is far from a definitive guide to Dutch or Americans. Have a read, see what you think, and if you disagree, then we've all had a good examination of our own views.
Let's get started with the Dutch, then move on to American stereotypes.
#1: The Dutch are unfriendly.
This one is generally true. In public settings, the Dutch like to be left alone. They don't want to make new friends. However, if introduced in the right setting (such as a job or house party) they are perfectly friendly and nice. The key here is that you have to catch them in the right setting, or they'll want nothing to do with you.
#2: The Dutch are rude.
Okay, maybe 'rude' is a strong word, but they are certainly more direct than Americans are used to. If you ask a question with an obvious answer, the Dutch won't hesitate to tell you that it was a stupid question. Got a weird new haircut? They'll tell you how bad it looks. Told a bad joke? They won't laugh. The Dutch will shut you down and not think twice about it.
I was once telling a story about a rude thing a customer had said to me the night before at a grocery store, and while I wasn't actually upset, I was mildly annoyed and did tell the story with enthusiasm. I'm not a very dramatic person and I don't exaggerate much, but I was lively because who wants to listen to a boring story, right? Well, apparently the Dutch do, because one of my unsmiling Dutch coworkers told me to "calm down" and that "it didn't seem like a big deal." He was right, it wasn't a big deal, but it was a short funny story that I thought he would find amusing. Apparently I was wrong!
I've had quite a few experiences with rude Dutch people here. Once I was waiting patiently in line for food, and the line was moving very slowly. My friends and I started talking to the man in line behind us, a Dutch guy, and when it was our turn to order he stepped in front of us and ordered first. Then he turned to us with a smug grin and said sarcastically, "Sorry."
There's also a Dutch wintertime tradition where they write cheeky poems that make fun of each other. I've been told that the poems are similar to a 'roast,' but I have the feeling that a Dutch person's poem would leave a lot of Americans in tears!
Of course, I've had overwhelmingly good experiences with Dutch people. After all, if I really disliked the Dutch, then I wouldn't have come to a Dutch island. I do have Dutch friends and they are (mostly) nice, normal people. I often joke (or semi-joke) about how rude Dutch people are around my Dutch friends, and even started a game where they garnered 'points' by saying and doing rude things. I think they were a little offended at first, but the more they paid attention, the more they noticed that many Dutch people really do come off as rude to Americans!
#3: The Dutch never smile.
Like with #1, it's a matter of catching them in the right setting. Americans are easy to spot with their wide grins and easy laughs, but other nationalities are more reserved. If you greet or tell a joke to a Dutch stranger, they probably won't be amused. A Dutch friend, however, is much easier with a smile and laugh. They're a lot like cats; they'll be friendly to people they know, and give the cold shoulder to strangers.
One of the first things I noticed while working in Bonaire was how the Dutch react to smiles. I am blonde-haired and blue-eyed, so I can (visually) pass for a Dutch person--at least until I open my mouth. If I greet Dutch customers with a smile--no words, just a smile--they will always speak to me in English first. But if I am working or reading or for some reason not smiling widely, they will always speak Dutch first. Smiling at strangers is a dead giveaway that you are not Dutch, and most likely American or Australian.
#4: The Dutch are cheese snobs.
True, but they deserve to be. Let's face it, gouda is amazing. And us Americans, all we've got to offer is cheddar and something called "American slices" because they aren't legally allowed to be labeled as cheese. The Dutch love cheese because their cheese is so delicious! Since living in Bonaire, I've fallen in love with gouda. It's cheap and easy to find on the island because the Dutch import it like mad from Holland.
#5: The Dutch are cheap.
Totally true. That phrase "going Dutch" didn't come from nowhere. Like penny-pinching college students, the Dutch are always on the hunt for free stuff and cheaper deals. If they think something is expensive, they have no problem telling you that. "Oh, it's quite expensive, yah?" As if saying that is going to get them a discount. That said, this seems to only apply when shopping; if you go out to dinner with Dutch people, they would never try to stiff you with the bill or anything like that. I think a better way to say this would be that the Dutch are very frugal.
#6: The Dutch are always tall with blonde hair and blue eyes.
The tall part is generally pretty true. The average height of a Dutch man is 6 feet (1.84 meters), and the average height of a Dutch woman is 5' 7" (1.71 meters). To compare, the averages for men and women in the USA are 5' 9" and 5' 4" respectively. (Although if that's true, why do I seem so short?!)
As for the blonde hair and blue eyes, this one is only partially true. Most Dutch children have very light blonde hair, but for many it seems to give way to brown hair as they age. Blue and brown are both common eye colors for the Dutch, and blonde and brown are common hair colors, but I haven't seen any with green eyes or red hair.
#7: The Dutch are all huge stoners.
Marijuana is partially legal in the Netherlands, and they do have some of the most relaxed drug laws among first-world countries. That said, most of the Dutch people I meet are mildly and personally opposed to smoking it themselves. They don't seem to care much if other people do it, but most of the Dutch people I know have never tried weed and don't want to. Funnily enough, most of the stoners I meet here are either locals or Americans.
#8: All Dutch people speak English.
True, and not just English! Every Dutch person I've ever met can speak good English, although some can have thick accents that are difficult to understand. Most Europeans are taught English in school from a young age, and many of the younger generation can pass for native speakers. In addition to English, many Dutch people can also speak at least one additional language, and due to the similarities between some of the languages (Dutch and German, for example) they can understand quite a bit even if they don't speak it well.
#9: The Dutch really like the color orange.
True. It's their royal color, and they are really into it. And yet, despite being a mostly pale people, they somehow pull it off.
#10: The Dutch love bicycles.
So true! I think they learn to ride bikes before they learn to walk, or maybe they're born with an innate bike-riding ability. Dutch bicycles are sturdy and well-made, and the Dutch are pro cyclists. In Holland, you can bike all over the place! That's definitely not the case in America. But thank goodness, the Dutch cyclists don't wear the spandex shorts. We all appreciate that.
Now let's talk about Americans. I've said it once and I'll say it again: Americans are the golden retrievers of the world.
#1: Americans are loud and talk a lot/too much.
The 'too much' part is up for debate, but we are certainly louder and more talkative than just about anyone else. We don't scream and shout like the Chinese, but we will talk your ear off. For us this is being friendly, because not talking or responding to someone would be quite rude. But other cultures value succinctness more than we do, and they sometimes see Americans as speaking without thinking and being generally obnoxious.
#2: Americans are aggressively friendly.
Again, this one depends on personal opinion, but Americans are definitely one of the friendliest people in the world. We want to meet everyone, talk to everyone, hear their life story, see photos of their children and pets and recent vacations, learn about their work, etc. For us, this is part of being friendly; if you don't show interest in other people, that's pretty rude. We love to find minor similarities to bond over, such as living in the same state or liking the same sports teams. Americans are like the dog in the park that wants to sniff the butts of every other dog and cannot rest until every butt has been sniffed.
Other cultures, especially Europeans, value their privacy more and don't want to share their life story with some random stranger they'll never see again. They don't care where you've been or what college your kids are going to. They have no real interest in bonding with strangers over minor similarities. They aren't being rude, they just realize that they probably aren't going to see you again, so why bother?
Personally--and I might be biased because I'm American--I like the American model better. By meeting new people and learning about them, I've learned a lot of things that I'd never have known about had I just kept to myself. Factoids about life, new places I want to visit, tips and tricks, and so on. One of the best parts of traveling is that it opens your mind to new thoughts, and if you aren't meeting new people, you're missing out on a lot of great new ideas.
#3: Americans are aggressively enthusiastic.
Again, this one is true, to the point that many non-Americans think it feels forced and fake. Americans just get really excited about things, and I don't think it's something we should apologize for. This enthusiasm isn't limited to our time abroad, either. Several Europeans have told me that when visiting America, they were put off by the high level of enthusiasm people showed toward them. This was especially true in the service industry (cab drivers, hotel staff, waiters, etc.) and they believed it was just a show to encourage tips.
I passionately disagreed with that view and told them they were jaded. Americans are wildly enthusiastic and that's a fact. The way Europeans feel about football (er, soccer) is the way we feel about everything. The Europeans view this as a little childish, I think, but I don't believe it's anything we should apologize for. If we're just mega excited by life, why is that a bad thing?
This one also goes back to the friendliness thing. In Europe they value privacy and personal space a little more; they like to be left alone, and things are a bit more formal. American are extremely informal in both language and action, and using formal language can actually be rude or passive-aggressive sometimes. Even small differences in language use show that Americans are less formal and more friendly.
An example of this difference is in asking questions. In America you can walk up to a stranger and ask "Where's the museum?" In Europe, however, it's generally accepted that you first ask "Can I ask you a question?" and then ask where the museum is. (This is also the same in many Asian cultures.) Many people will even be weirded out by a stranger asking them questions, whereas an American will literally walk you to your destination even if it's out of their way. Our friendliness makes people uncomfortable sometimes, I think.
A quote from Wikipedia on American stereotypes: "Many travelers/tourists are taken aback by the overt friendliness of Americans. International tourists report that they believe the behavior to be fake at first, and then come to realize that this is just how many Americans are."
#4: Americans are arrogant, insufferable know-it-alls.
This one makes me laugh because I see it all the time. Americans like to boast about the places we've been, the things we've seen and done, because it makes us sound worldly and interesting. We like to sound like experts about everything.
Americans are the Hermiones of the world, and I think it's a complex we've developed from being called stupid and ignorant by other countries so often. We want to prove that we're not stupid illiterates who know nothing of the world, and in doing so we can come off as arrogant and insufferable know-it-alls.
So you know what, other countries? This one is your fault. You made us this way. Maybe if you stop saying how stupid and ignorant Americans are, we'll stop talking your ear off to seem smart and knowledgeable.
#5: Americans are terrible at foreign languages/speak only English.
Again, this one is true, but I think it's not 100% our fault. There's a lot of factors that have produced this monolingual effect. I have some fairly strong feelings about this stereotype.
First, most American middle and high schoolers must take a language course for several years, but we don't have native speakers as our teachers and in fact, many of the teachers aren't that good at the languages to begin with. We have no opportunity to use French or German in America, so we don't get to practice it. Europeans, on the other hand, can take a day trip to another nation and practice other languages with ease.
Second, even if we do go abroad, people only want to speak English with us. Mainly this is because people want to practice their English, which is a worthy endeavor and is hard to argue with. In some cases it's just plain rudeness, such as in France where they'll simply ignore your attempts at French and speak back to you in English. Or the native speakers get annoyed because they know the exchange will be faster if they switch to English, a language they've learned since they were small.
Third, other countries expect Americans (or Brits or Australians) to speak only English. It's a frustrating self-fulfilling prophecy. Americans want to learn foreign languages, and many of us try hard to learn them. But when we hear non-Americans complaining and making fun of us for trying to speak other languages, that's very discouraging. I'm not saying that we should be coddled and falsely praised, but imagine this scenario: you've studied German for five years, you've finally taken a trip to Germany and you'll finally get to speak German, but the Germans always answer you in English and get impatient when you take too long to say something in German or mispronounce things. Why did you spend all that time learning German if even the Germans won't speak it to you?
An interesting thing I've noted is that Americans are very helpful and encouraging to people trying to speak English. We'll offer words if you can't think of one, and we're (for the most part) very patient with not-so-good speakers. But when we visit foreign countries, we are rarely afforded this same treatment.
#6: Americans are fat.
Well, it's not untrue. America is among the fattest nations in the world. And looking at what we eat, is it any surprise? I'd love to see this stereotype change in the future.
#7: Americans like to tell embarrassing/self-deprecating stories.
This one took me a while to figure out. A few times after telling a funny story, Dutch people would give me a funny look and say, "I wouldn't tell that story if I were you."
Americans like to be funny, and one of the easiest sources of humor is ourselves. We even do this with new people, which I suspect is a way to humanize us. If you know something embarrassing about a person, you're not really strangers anymore. Telling stories in which we did something foolish or embarrassing is a common way to break the ice and get to know new people.
I have two such stories that I've shared here and got that response. The first is that for many years I thought Omaha was a place in Africa, due to all those Mutual of Omaha commercials with the elephants. The second is the story of how I got 'fired' from a restaurant after three weeks of working as a bus-girl. The story goes that they hired me with no warning; they just called six months after I applied and said "Show up at 6 on Wednesday." There was no training, I was accused of stealing on my third day (a waitress had misplaced her purse), and I eventually was asked to quit because I was too friendly. Yes, really. Apparently I talked to the customers too much (despite getting all my work done and only breaking one thing) and the help wasn't supposed to be seen so much. I always make it clear that I was fine at the job, I just had a terrible jerk of a boss. Most Americans see this story as a funny work experience with a crappy boss, but the Dutch always frown and say "I wouldn't tell people about that."
These stories are about harmless situations where the outcome was just mild embarrassment, yet Europeans often act like I've just told them that I killed someone! I understand the thinking there, because why shame yourself in front of new people, or anyone? But on the other hand, we're all human and we all make mistakes, and Americans aren't going to judge or think less of you because you did something foolish once. In fact, it's endearing! It might actually make us like you more! I don't know if I can say the same of most European cultures, and it's something I like very much about Americans.
#8: Americans are optimistic and hardworking.
True for most of us, though certainly not all. For most the Americans I meet abroad, it does hold true. Americans are optimists, always believing that good things are going to happen and looking on the bright side. Is that a rain cloud? No, it'll pass and the weather will clear up. Isn't the water a little cold? Nah, not as cold as at home, nothing we can't handle. That restaurant gave you food poisoning? Well, at least it wasn't norovirus!
In addition to working hard, we also like to play hard. Americans are always trying to cram the maximum into each trip. We like to stay busy!
And there's my two cents! I hope you enjoyed it and didn't end up terribly offended. I admit that writing things like this makes me a bit nervous, but I think it's important to examine stereotypes, both of ourselves and of others. A little critical thinking is good for the brain!
With some luck, I'll be leaving the country again soon. The plan is to spend a few weeks in Guam, maybe as soon as May. But it's all up in the air right now, so stay tuned! :)
Cheers,
Ashton
