KOREAN ALCOHOLS: PART 2
If you want to read Part 1, click here. If you're ready for round two, then let's get started with the worst of the worst. Keep in mind that everything on this list cost less than $3 USD.
Before you ask what I'm mixing this stuff with, here's your answer: I'm not. Westerners typically mix their liquors with other (non-alcoholic) drinks. Many traditional Korean alcohols are actually rice wines. There are apparently some distilled liquors, but I haven't seen them. Even soju, which is similar to weak vodka, is usually consumed straight. Occasionally soju gets thrown into other things (like beer), but for the most part, what's in the bottle is what goes down the gullet.
GOLDEN DRAGON
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| Looks cool! Technically it's Chinese but whatever. |
Golden Dragon is a Chinese liquor that comes in a cool green bottle with a dragon embossed on the back. I admit it, the dragon suckered me in. The contents are clear and smell like paint thinner and regret.
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| Very cool. |
As far as the 'taste' goes, it straight up burns. It's hell inside your mouth, very bitter and acidic. Have you ever been violently ill and thrown up so much that you started vomiting up yellow-green bile? Remember the taste of the bile? Imagine doing a shot of bile mixed with rubbing alcohol. That's what Golden Dragon tastes like.
I noticed that you can actually watch it evaporate from the glass and leave residue on the sides. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that it's 50% alcohol. If you look very closely at the first photo, you can read "50%(V/V)." I honestly believe that drinking an entire bottle of this would kill me. To give you a good comparison: the standard ethanol mixture used to fix organic tissue, like those bottles of brains and pig fetuses you see in science labs, is 70%. This is pretty darn close to what we use to keep samples from rotting. (Pro-tip: you're supposed to fix tissues AFTER it's dead.)
A translation of the back of the bottle reveals that this stuff is banned from being sold in restaurants and bars. Can't imagine why.
Score: -5/10
This is the devil's diarrhea.
SWEET BLOOMING
(MAESIL / 매실)
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| Pretty bottle, at least. |
I've talked about maesil before. It's pronounced "may-sheel" and it's a fruit wine made from the ripened Prunus mume fruit. This fruit is called a Chinese Plum, and a Japanese Apricot, and I call it a Korean Plum. But a plum by any other names tastes just as sweet. In this case, maybe a little too sweet.
The last maesil I tried was awful. (Not as awful as Golden Dragon, but bad enough to dump the whole bottle immediately.) This was a definitely improvement, which was unexpected because this one was cheaper. The plum wine was a pleasant orangey-yellow, and looked a lot like my favorite tea. It smells like a mildly alcoholic cherry juice. Unfortunately, it tastes exactly like cherry cough syrup mixed with cheap vodka, complete with the bad cough syrup aftertaste. I could enjoy this if it weren't for that horrible aftertaste--just like cold medicine! This stuff is 14% alcohol.
Score: 3/10
Possibly enjoyable if you had a cold.
LET'S SPARK
(MAESIL / 매실)
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| Pretty bottle. |
This is another maesil (plum wine), but it's slightly carbonated. It's more yellow (the Sweet Blooming was more orange), and it's also a lower alcohol content than Sweet Blooming, at just 10% alcohol. The flavor isn't very strong, but there's no bad aftertaste. It still tastes cherry-ish, but not outstandingly so. It's not super sweet, which is good. I could actually drink this and enjoy it.
Score: 5/10
It could have a stronger flavor, but it's actually drinkable.
(Traditional Rice Wine)
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| Fancy! |
Makkoli is a traditional Korean rice wine. (It's also spelled 'makgeolli.') This stuff is made from fermented rice and until recently it was basically the moonshine of Korea: cheap, nasty, and usually imbibed by poor farmers. Lately, though, it's been gaining popularity and there's an abundance of makkolis available. It usually comes in an opaque white plastic bottle.
As far as alcoholic drinks go, makkoli is pretty healthy. It's got fiber, vitamins, lactic acid, and it's usually less than 8% alcohol. You can drink it for a while and only get pleasantly buzzed! There are makkoli holes-in-the-wall, usually with wooden picnic-style tables and gravel floors, that serve the stuff in bowls and big copper kettles. Makkoli is often eaten with a Korean-style seafood pancake (pajeon). It tastes kinda like beer, and it can vary from sweet to bitter to tangy, depending on the brand. Appearance-wise, it's an opaque liquid the color of pancake batter. As far as Korean alcohols go, makkoli is pretty good.
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| See the stuff on the bottom? Makkoli is an unfiltered drink, so make sure you shake it before drinking it. |
This particular bottle is made from 95% rice, 5% root of the Codonopsis lanceolata plant, which is a local variety of bonnet bellflower called "deodeok." The plant's root is popular in Korean cooking and apparently has some medicinal qualities. This deodeok makkoli tastes healthy, for lack of a better word. Not bad, but it'd be better with pajeon!
Score: 7/10
It tastes healthy. I can't decide if that's good or bad. Makkoli is significantly more enjoyable when imbibed with friends at a makkoli hole-in-the-wall.
Korean Rice Wine
Sometimes I visit the local mart instead of going to the big department store. I have a few reasons. First, the mart sells cheap ice cream and chocolate bars. Second, the night guy is a real peach who thinks my name is pronounced "Action." Third, all the big stores are closed every other Wednesday due to some law that's supposed to help mom-and-pop shops. But mainly I go for the ice cream and chocolate.
Anyway, the point is that this mart usually has a small and always-changing selection of cheap alcohol. Many of my taste-tested alcohols come from this shop. I usually pick up a new bottle and ask the sajangnim (Korean for "boss") if it's delicious. "Mashisoyo?" He usually laughs and nods and says, "Mashiso," which means "It's delicious." Then I buy it, along with copious amounts of ice cream.
This particular bottle contains a whole liter (that's 1/4 a gallon) of rice wine and it cost just $3. It's foul. Honestly, I didn't expect it to be good. But I think it's too bad to even cook with. (Makes me miss Australia, where I could get a decent bottle of wine for $4.)
Score: 1/10
Bad. Just bad.
And last but not least...
Premium Distilled Soju (소주)
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| Ooooh, fancy. |
Soju is the cheapest thing to drink in Korea. A cheap bottle usually costs around a dollar and most types are about 20% alcohol. It's dangerous. And I love it. It tastes like spicy water! (Or slightly-sweet rubbing alcohol, take your pick.)
Like the majority of old Korean men, I normally buy the cheap stuff. I prefer Chamisool brand, but there are a few other popular ones. They're sold everywhere, even in convenience stores and restaurants. You can buy big 10-liter jugs at the grocery stores. But just once, I thought I'd buy a fancy bottle and see if it tasted different.
And did it? Yeah, but not in a good way. This fancy soju had all the tongue-numbing power of cheap soju, but without the slightly-sweet fire-water taste I love. I strongly suspect that this is better for my liver (and the environment in general) but it's not sweet at all.
Score: 4/10
It's okay, but I much prefer cheap soju! This tastes like regular old rubbing alcohol.
CONCLUSIONS
Soju is still my favorite of the Korean traditional alcohols. Soju is better with dinner, while makkoli is great when enjoyed with friends over some hot snacks (like seafood pancakes!) The Let's Spark maesil was pretty decent, but I'm not sure I'd buy it again.
If I'm being honest, I like rum a lot better than any of the Korean alcohols. There's a decent selection of Western alcohols at Costco, and the duty-free guys at the airport don't really care if you're over the limit so long as the stuff is cheap. But for a cheap night of drinking and dining with friends, soju is hard to beat!
I'll be keeping my eye out for more Korean alcohols to try, and you can also expect another list of strange foods in the near future. I've only got a few months left, so I have to make the most of it!
Cheers,
Ashton
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